Nothing, Infinity and You

Last night, we had dinner at Roy’s which is located in an Orlando section known as Dr. Phillips. The town is as expensive as it’s name implies. I had to finance our meal for two years at 4% interest, which, really, is not that bad. In any case, we enjoyed ourselves and the food was very satisfying and the evening went great. But I had a feeling the evening wasn’t over yet and it was just getting interesting.

Now, I’ve never dropped acid, but I had the WEIRDEST most ANACHRONISTICALLY THEMED dream EVER!

Plot summary:

I was the “technology advisor” to one of several feuding kingdoms IN THE 14TH CENTURY! How do I know? Because the calendar on the wall said January 1351. So there.

I was explaining to the army general (I guess) how plastics work and how they are virtually indestructible. I demonstrated this using a 1970’s Fisher Price toy (all joking aside, they ARE indestructible!). I also demonstrated the concept of the automobile, particularly, the Ford Model T, and how the internal combustion engine was going to revolutionize travel forever. The general posed the question “Why, then, aren’t these, um, cars not made of plastic?” Which I promptly and smugly answered “The engines generate extreme heat which would melt the frame and, thus, render the vehicle useless.” Then I turned their attention to the cellular phone. In this case, it was a 2008 BlackBerry Pearl Flip 8220. Why didn’t I just show them my 2012 iPhone 5? Maybe I thought it would freak them out or something.

As I was putting away all this technology in the kingdom’s coffers, somebody made a cameo appearance in my dream. It was none other than 1982’s Electronics teacher Mr. Jack “I have the hots for Bebe The Librarian” Edwards (in all fairness, Bebe did sport some serious hotness for a “mature” woman). This was actually good news, because I could have had 1982’s Chemistry teacher Mr. Thomas “I like to smash electronic football games against the wall” Spencer, which would be bad news for the kingdom seeing as Mr. Spencer enjoys a good “flogging” of anything with a battery.

I woke up and drank some sodium bicarbonate ailment. I need to stay away from Malbec and hot chocolate soufflés. And, no, there weren’t any little guys with names like Lord Tyrion Lannister.